Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Pull My Finger

Firstly I'm sorry I haven't been posting as much as I should have, but to honest I've been busy trying to put this BBQ together.
Let me say it's not easy putting a BBQ together for 1,000 homeless and 1,500 working people with only fresh air and a smile. Ha ha. But let me say I'm doing great with what I have. This BBQ will help a lot of people.
I was just looking and I haven't done a funny story for a while because I was writing serious stuff so this ones going to make up for lost time. Ha ha.
Oh I laugh and cry whenever I think of this story. Do not read this if you have a weak stomach or just eaten.
Imagine a group of guys sitting around drinking and just having fun telling jokes and things. Then one of them says “pull my finger” and farted as someone did. It's the oldest joke in the book but everyone still laughed even me. Ha ha.
Then one of us thought it'd be great to hold a small flame at the back end as someone farted and watch the flame get bigger for that split second. DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME. Ha ha. I thought I'd put a warning in just in case kids are reading.
So there we were drinking and when the need came to fart you'd drop your pants and everyone else would hover around laughing and one would hold the lighter already lit. Then a fart would come and a puff of flame would quickly fire up. Well all except two guys had a go at making a puff.
I shouldn't name his name, but TOM kept laughing and saying “I'm building a big one that will fill your lighter up with gas” Well everyone laughed and the night went on. Then Tom quickly shouted “get it ready here goes” 4 guys quickly moved in quickly with one ready with the lighter.
Now imagine this you have 4 guys waiting and yelling for him to hurry up and push as hard as he can to get a bigger flame. He pushed hard and fast to push out a huge fart. Yep you guessed it he had gastric and it sprayed everywhere, apart from where it hit the guys the spray went for at least a metre. The 4 guys didn't even see it coming. Now anything I write from here about this is well just dirty. Ha ha.
There is a follow up with this. Tom was aloud to drink with us again but for his birthday we pooled together and got him a butt-plug to block it up as a laugh. Before anyone asks me if I was one of the 4 guys let me make it clear NO I wasn't. As funny as it was watching the flame puff I was not fast enough to get there in time. Ha ha life is good.

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I was on a bus the last week when a mother and a little girl got on the bus and sat on the next seat over from mine. The little girl (about 2yr) said “look at my new purse” holding it up for me to see, I started saying how nice her purse looked and how it matched her outfit. The mum started telling me that life has just gone down hill lately since just before the floods we had.
Because I had to get off the bus I couldn't wait to call her and get the rest of the story so I called. I found out that Effie had split from her partner taking herself and daughter Krystal-Lee to move in with friends and storing all they own at there which happen to be North Booval which as most would know went under-water with the flood. I asked how high the water went which she quickly said to the roof.
I started thinking this is bad so I began saying less and listening more, because sometimes people just want to talk about there troubles and have someone listen.
Effie went on to tell me how everything she owned including white goods, furniture, clothes and all photo's and personal things was washed away. So I asked what about the money given by the Government? She told me it was only a $1,000 because the house was not in her name and couldn't get any more assist from anywhere.
I asked about family and she said most of her family live interstate and she can't move because Krystal-Lee's dad was living in Brisbane but he don't see her much in fact this weekend is the first weekend he's going to have her since they separated.
I started saying how I had to restart and it's not easy then I mentioned about the BBQ on the 10th of July and the fact that people like her was the reason I'm putting it together. I explained that clothes and things would be given to all homeless and people in need with all the services and people to talk to.
After going into a lot of detail about the BBQ and how much it will help her I asked where she's living now? Because it was over the phone I can't say for sure but the more she talked the more I was sure she was giving up on herself when she told me about going from friends houses to friends houses and how it wasn't stable for her little girl.
Now I'm going to keep in contact with Effie and I have already asked her to help set up at the BBQ just to make sure she comes on the day and I'll try get her and her daughter as much help as I can.

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I'd like to thank you for reading my blog a bigger thank you for the 1 person to donate $10 towards the BBQ in the last 10 days. This might sound harsh but really I'm trying to do something so great here putting this BBQ together and there's only so many things I can ask to be donated.
If you like my stories please donate towards the BBQ which is only in 3 weeks.
I hope you all have a great day and thank you for reading again.
Grant the Polite Guy.
P.S Please if everyone and look around and collect clothes and things to donate it would be going to a great course.
If you have any ideas please use this comment box or email me grantthepoliteguy@gmail.com

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